"Hidden Warranties" are a hot topic in the news media these days. That's what consumer advocates call automakers' policy of repairing known defects for free, but not publicizing the fact. It's a tacit admission of guilt, but far less costly than real honesty.

Since car owners can't take advantage of hidden warranties unless they know about them, the Toad a la Mode Consumer Protection Division has complied this helpful list of makes, models, and defects:
 

• 1997 Ford Taurus: prone to termite damage
• 1998 Dodge Caravan: "emergency" spare tire is square
• 1999 Ford Explorer: fuel tank tends to explode into driver's seat, rather than passenger area
• 1996 Chevy Suburban: too damn big
• 2000 Ford Probe: some models inadvertently sold without windows
• 1997 Chevy Cavalier: stickers indicating where speedometer and gas gauge would be in a real car are likely to peel off when exposed to direct sunlight
• 2000 Jeep Grand Cherokee: optional shift-on-the-fly "aquacar" feature prone to frequent malfunction
• 2001 Pontiac Grand Am: fix everything, admit nothing
• 2001 Ford Aerostar Van: optional installed child safety seat has overly-sensitive "Eject" button
• 2001 Dodge Ram Pickup: fuel economy compromised by gaping hole in bottom of gas tank