The Toad a la Mode Dysfunctional Family Research Sodality presents
How Should You Explain Your Embarrassing Relatives?
"Cousin Earl got a hurt in his brain-hole."
Claim Mom is prepping for her big role in a Tennessee Williams play.
Post chart of all your married first cousins in living room.
Disavow, disavow, disavow.
"He was O.K. with black people until he saw 'Daddy Daycare.'"
Blame imaginary owls in attic.
Refer to white-collar prison as "management training school."
"Grandpa hasn't been the same since he volunteered for those Army tests."
Switched by fairies.
Remind everyone that at least Dad did bring down the Nixon administration.
Return to the Toad a la Mode menu--and for God's sake, cover up that tattoo.
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© 2005 by Toad à la Mode.
