Other Things It's OK for the President to Do

Warrantless wiretaps were just the start. Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez has compiled a list of all the other laws the President may now freely contravene in order to fight the Global War on Terror. Some highlights from his intercepted email to President Bush:*
Other Things It's OK for the President to Do in Time of War

Wear white shoes after Labor Day.
Pass on the right.
Shout "Fire!" in a crowded movie theater.
Leave his cell phone turned on in hospital cardiac wards.
Swim within one hour after eating.
Leave cover open before striking.
Skip flossing.
Beer after whiskey.
Return to work without washing hands.
Lather, rinse, and stop.
Take medicine while pregnant or breastfeeding without consulting phsyician.
Keep seat back and tray table in unlocked, downward positions while landing.

*No, we won't tell you how we got it. But it was strictly legal. We promise. OK, it wasn't unconstitutional. Not according to our understanding of the constitution. Trust us.

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