Attention: Your apartment complex management has posted new
Swimming Pool Rules
NO running
glass
horseplay
alcohol
smoking
gawking
posing
preening
flexing
jiggling
Do not congregate on stairs and ladders. They are structurally unsound.
The restrooms are through the gate and inside the clubhouse. Don't make us tell you this twice.
Thongs and slingshots are prohibited by City Health Ordinance #482-C.
Leave all valuables in car or locker. Our employees are grossly underpaid
and it is cruel to tempt them.
Always swim with a buddy, or a sworn enemy if that's all you have.
Children under 14 must be accompanied by a a responsible adult. The really cool guy
who buys beer for you at the 7-11 is not a responsible adult.
The lifeguards are not allowed to apply suntan lotion to anyone. This means
you, Mrs. Zandermann.
Please shower before getting drunk and plunging off the third-floor balcony into the pool.
Hey, they got sno-cones back at the Toad a la Mode menu.
