What is this document but a long list of complaints and cavils directed against our sovereign ruler? "He has refused his assent to laws," it snivvles, "He has obstructed the administration of justice, he has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people." Wah, wah, wah. Mr. Jefferson, if things are indeed so bad in our country, it behooves us as Americans not to play the blame game, but instead to pull together and approve a no-bid contract with Halliburton to rebuild the burned towns of New England.

King George the III is a good man, a decent man. He has fought against corruption in government, sweeping out the debauched Whigs who ran the country only a short while ago. He goes to church. I know he feels the pain these events have caused, but gentlemen, I ask you, what more could he do? The King-haters among you screech that he is heartless, uncaring, and even accuse him of insanity. Just because a man puts chicken bones in his hair and runs about Buckingham Palace singing sea chanties is no proof he is insane. These are merely some of the King's charming rustic habits, quite common in the rural towns of Hanover where he spent his boyhood. Truly, those who would criticize their leader in times like these care not for the cause of freedom.

If you wish to place blame for the sorry state of affairs this country is in, point your fingers instead to the governors of the colonies. When history looks back upon this period, surely She will record that it was men like Delaware Collector of Customs & Commissioner of Revenue Thomas Keane, North Carolina Provincial Assemblyman Joesph Hewes, and Oliver Wolcott, Commissioner of Indian Affairs-- not the King of England--who bear the primary responsibility for our present plight.