In early November, United Nations aircraft began dropping aid packages into southern Oklahoma. These packages (pictured below) contained vital cosmetic and hygiene products apparently not available to the indigenous peoples.

"We began the airdrops hoping to avoid actually having to send advisors into the region," stated UN Under Secretary Michael Rossington of Great Britain. "We felt the risk was just too great."

Secretary Rossington went on to discuss the difficulties of achieving wide-spread makeovers with the packages alone. The makeup, for example, was being hoarded by high school girls and office workers who were slathering it on, oblivious to the beauty needs of others. At the same time, parcels of perm relaxer were piled high with a note, apparently meant for the aircraft personnel, requesting they be exchanged for super-curl perm solution and Aqua Net. "We even began dropping magazines like Cosmo and Seventeen so the indigenous peoples would understand how to use the supplies," he continued, "but, judging by surveillance photos taken at a Dairy Queen, they just weren't getting it. Clearly, we had to send in troops."

On Monday, U.N. special hairstylist forces organized into Mullet Elimination Patrols - or "MEPs" - were airlifted into the region. One MEP commander described his mission as "treacherous, but the first step in true fashion-forwardness."

Other U.N. makeup artists and stylists began setting up re-education centers where local women will be taught not only the importance of clear pores, non-frizzy hair, and lipstick, but how to achieve those goals. In addition, they've begun holding workshops in which the indigenous peoples remove the dangly things from their earrings and the rhinestones from their sweatshirts. "It's so sad when they come in here, but so gratifying when they leave with a sleeker look," explained one black-clad aid worker.

The U.N. workers are also committed to helping the men in the region. In addition to the MEPs, clothing distribution centers have been established. Men are being issued jackets and shirts with collars to replace their beer-belly-revealing t-shirts. And the men are being asked to join the women in attending spinning classes, along with being issued Abs of Steel videos.

"I never thought much about my body or my clothes -- or even what a girl's hair looked like," noted one local man. "But now, after the wonderful assistance of the aid workers and the reference book, I understand just how important looks are." The "reference book" is the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog, which has been issued to all residents of the region. "The other day," he continued, "I even found myself laughing at a guy who was wearing a monster truck t-shirt. It was such a great feeling. God bless the U.N. for the work they are doing. They are truly changing lives."

There is some concern, however, about what will happen after the aid workers leave the area. Will the residents revert back to their old fashion-ignorant ways?