Thanks to the Department of Homeland Security, there are a few
New Mardi Gras Traditions for Post-Katrina New Orleans
Bead strings must be strong enough to throttle a FEMA employee with.
All floats to double as emergency housing for at least two families.
Cries of "Show us your tits!" replaced by cries of "Do you have any ice?"
New Krewe of NOAA introduced.
Parades attempting to cross into adjacent townships will be halted by gun-toting sheriff's deputies.
Worthless coins tossed to crowd supplied by Ohio Workers' Compensation Board.
All parades required to end at Superdome.
Tradition of "find the baby in the King Cake" replaced by tradition of "find the elderly jazz musician in the collapsed housing project."
All costumes will be shipped to New Orleans via Maine and Utah.
Pickpockets rolling drunks will give 10% of all proceeds to the American Red Cross.
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