Responding quickly to the sluggish economy, the President's Council
on Worker Preparedness presents this helpful list of
Signs That You're About to Be Laid Off
Boss keeps asking if you've ever thought about graduate school.
HR employees wash hands after contact with you.
Security guards come by to check exactly how long it takes to walk from your desk to the parking lot.
Co-workers spontaneously begin returning borrowed books and videos.
Newt Gingrich gives interview criticizing your job performance.
Receptionist ceases concealing her contempt for you and all you represent.
Company president calls a big meeting to assure staff that all is well and the company is more financially stable than ever.
Job description in blind want-ad sounds eerily familiar.
The carpeting suddenly becomes overwhelmingly interesting to people you pass in the hall.
There's a Bush in the White House.
You shower and shower, yet the eery stench of death persists.
Last weekend, you unpacked the last box from your move after your previous layoff.
Someone leaves the address of the local day labor pickup site in your In box.
You have a job.
Grab all the pens you can and return to the Toad a la Mode menu.
