"It's absolutely untrue," Harrison's press agent told The Times today. "George has no desire whatsoever to be hit or run over by any type of vehicle. He did once speculate about how many of his fans might have been struck by cars while attempting to re-enact the 'Abbey Road' album cover, but he never said anything at all like what's being printed."

Harrison issued a statement reassuring his fans that "I have no desire to be hit, nor any intention of being hit, by a truck at any time in the foreseeable future. Not even a glancing blow. Sorry and God bless."

Harrison's family and agent would like to take this opportunity to deny the following rumors about Harrison:

• He has not repeatedly begged Phil Spector to poke him in the eye with a sharp stick.
• He has not expressed a sincere desire to be afflicted with leprosy, gout, or dropsy.
• He did not engage in a duel with Cat Stevens in 1969 that resulted in the loss of his left arm.
• He has not augmented security at his estate by breeding a herd of evil flying monkeys.
• The animated dwarves on his All Things Must Pass website do not symbolize five of the Ten Offenses To Be Avoided in Chanting the Holy Name Krsna. They are simply creepy little guys.
• Mr. Harrison never sent a fan letter to Gilbert O'Sullivan in the early 1970s and has no plans to record with him.
• Mr. Harrison does not supply the voice for Wakko on "Animaniacs."
• The voice at the end of "My Sweet Lord 2000" on the digitally remastered "All Things Must Pass" is not saying "Gonna bury George." It is saying, "guava-berry sauce" -- a tasty topping for chicken or fish.
• He has not organized an intervention to convince Paul McCartney that continuing to release albums is hurting his loved ones. He further denies ever stating that McCartney's recent albums have been "like watching your dad dance in public" (though he wishes he had), and
• He is not planning to reunite with Eric Idle for a follow-up to "The Pirate Song."