Lucy in the Sky with Dilantin

Prilosec. Claritin. Ditropan XL. If you've had your television on for more than 2 minutes, you've heard these drug names - and you've been duly warned of possible side effects. With their newly-won ability to advertise, pharmaceutical companies must create easy-to-remember prescription drug names that consumers can run to their doctors and ask for. What's more, drug names musn't sound too much alike, lest a doctor or pharmacist screw up the prescription and kill someone (and, more importantly, the drug company get sued). It's a challenge, and many names don't make the cut.
 
 

Rejected Drug Names

Wutshappenin - Alzheimer's treatment

Klepto-Bismol Peppermint Behavior Modifier

Regurgiflux - Indigestion relief

Pissex Max - Incontinence therapy

Cool Ranch Zoloft - Between-meals antidepressant

Stopyereatin - Appetite suppressant

Slougholette CQ - Leprosy patch (failed in testing)

Getitupandin - Impotence relief

Snotclyr - Decongestant

Tumor-B-Gone - Cancer suppository

Scrofulor - Elephantiasis therapy

New Soma - Behavior aid

Spinhurlex - Anti-vertigo drug

Cherry-flavored Kids' Lithi-YUM - Bi-polar treatment

Slutsease CQ - Sex addiction patch

Eclaritin - Chocolate-coated decongestant with fat dissolver

Women who are or who may become pregnant should not return to the Toad a la Mode menu.