According to the Times of London, the late George Harrison left an album of new songs which will be released by his wife in the near future. "One of the tracks is believed to allude to the knife attack in which he suffered a punctured lung last year," the Times reports. Though a few tracks are clearly derivative and were never deemed worthy of release, others provide new takes on continuing themes in Harrison's life, such as his interest in spirituality and huge sums of money. Toad a la Mode is proud to bring you the following, unauthorized, probably illegal and in any case highly suspect, excerpts from the album's lyrics.

You've Stabbed Me Too Much
Though they've taken you away this morning
And put you in jail
You'll be back again tomorrow
As soon as you make bail

I'll never like you
And you know it's true
'Cause you've stabbed me too much
Hope I pull through

You've tried before to kill me
Though you're just a homeless tramp
It's a good thing Olivia was there
And clubbed you with that lamp

I'll never like you
And you know it's true
'Cause you've stabbed me too much
Hope I pull through

I really do
For you practically still-lifed me
When you knifed me

I'm not quite ready
For reincarnation
So please just stay away
And take your medication

Within Your Means or Without Them
We were talking
about a guy whose name was Stan
an accountant
who saved his client twenty grand
He was great
quite low fees
Should I call him up?
Yes, I'll do that Monday . . . .

Something Else
There was something else about her I wanted to mention
Can't quite remember it at the moment, though.
Really something rather extraordinary
Perhaps it was her very long hair? No.

That wasn't what I wished to recall.
Not at all, not at all.
Nor was it the fact that she prefers rusks at tea
Because who doesn't? Not me!

It wasn't that she always smells of camphor
Or that her eyes are sort of greyish-brown.
Well, trust me, there was something else significant
If I think of it I'll be sure to write it down.