Though they are in the end just tiny,
highly-specialized, unintelligent killing machines, cats enjoy the
holiday season as much as the next semi-sentient being. Take, for example, this list of
Your Cat's Favorite Christmas Tree Ornaments
- The shiny one.
- The one that makes the pretty crashing sound when you knock it down.
- The other shiny one.
- The one that swings back and forth and back and forth while you watch it and
watch it and watch it until OH MY GOD I HAVE TO KILL IT RIGHT NOW.
- That other shiny one, way up there.
- The mouse with the Santa hat, even though it doesn't squeak when I bite into it.
- The very special old family one that you hung way high up on the tree so I couldn't get at it. Well, I'll show you.
- The pretty birds with the feathers that scatter on the carpet so realistically.
- The shiny one that is very high up but also very far out on a branch so that I cannot quite reach it. It mocks me.
- All the other shiny ones.
Maybe there's something to eat back at the Toad a la Mode menu.
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