Prominent People Who Need to Have Their Asses Kicked by Women

It's not just that we want them to hurt; each of the individuals below would simply be a better person for the described ass-kicking.
 

• Bill Clinton: Far and away the most deserving person on our list.  Hillary isn't willing, so we suggest Rosie O'Donnell.  Degree of difficulty: 3
• George W. Bush:  Tricky.  At the first solid blow Bush is likely to curl up on the floor and cry like a tiny baby.  Suggested ass-kicker:  Madeline Albright and/or Eudora Welty, if she's still alive (Janet Reno might kill him).  Degree of difficulty:  -2
• Marilyn Manson:  Queen Latifah.  Degree of difficulty:  5
• Camille Pagila:  There must be an infinitely long list of women willing to kick Paglia's ass, but we'd like to see Martha Stewart do it, because she's even scarier than Paglia herself.  Martha would pick her teeth with Camille's bones, and then use the bones to spear canapes.  Degree of difficulty:  4
• Al Gore: This may be redundant, since Gore has managed to get his ass kicked by George W. Bush, but having Mia Hamm kick his ass might do Gore some good.  Degree of difficulty:  2
• Venus Williams should just go ahead and kick John MacEnroe's ass.  Martina Navritalova could hold him down while she does it.  Virginia Slims sponsors.  Degree of difficulty:  6; 4 on clay
• Ralph Nader:  He may or may not deserve it, be we'd feel better if Melissa Ethridge kicked his ass, just a little.  Degree of difficulty:  6
• Burt Reynolds:  Vanessa Williams.  Degree of difficulty:  5
• Phyllis Schlafly:  Betty Friedan.  Degree of difficulty:  8
• Eminem:  Rosemary Clooney.  Degree of difficulty:  6