Apologies in the News
You've heard that China is demanding
an apology for the downing of a fighter plane after its collision with
a much larger US reconnaissance (okay, spy) plane. But you
may not have heard of these other international apology demands:
US, Canada combine to demand Britain
apologize for unleashing the Spice Girls on their unsuspecting publics.
British refuse, countering that The Beatles granted them immunity for all
future musical acts.
Mesopotamia demands apology for lands
taken over by Greek Empire.
US demands apology for France's trying
to pass off lumpy Gerard Depardieu as sex symbol, demands new Brigitte
Bardot picture.
Jamaica demands world-wide apology
for having been forced to smoke so much weed over the years. "We only do
it because the tourists expect it, mon," explains government official in
Dr. Seuss hat.
Hell demands apology for Salem witch
trials.
Poland demands apology for casting
of Liam Neeson as Oskar Schindler. "Ralph Fiennes much hotter, even as
a fat Nazi," government contends.
China demands apology for Mickey Rooney's
portrayal of a stereotyped, buck-toothed Chinese guy in "Breakfast at Tiffany's."
US demands apology from Britain for
common law. "Why didn't you write all that stuff down in a list?" government
complains.
Pardon us - would you care to return to the
Toad a la Mode menu?