ATTEMPTED MURDER OF U.S. PRESIDENT; CONSPIRACY TO EMBARRASS CHIEF EXECUTIVE IN FRONT OF DOGS; ATTACK ON A FEDERAL FACILITY RESULTING IN BOO-BOOS ON PRESIDENTIAL NOGGIN
MISTER SALTY
Date of Photograph Unknown |
| Aliases: Mr. Salty, Shaykh Usama Bin Salty, the Prince, Sailor Snacky, that Pretzel Guy |
DESCRIPTION
| Date of Birth: | 1932 | Hair: | None |
| Place of Birth: | Grobnick & Assoc. Advertising | Eyes: | Black |
| Height: | 2" to 4" | Complexion: | Toasty Brown |
| Weight: | Approximately .025 grams | Sex: | Nominally Male |
| Build: | Veri-Thin | Nationality: | Commercial |
| Occupation: | Merchant Marine/Product Spokesfigure | ||
| Remarks: | Mister Salty is the leader of a terrorist organization known as Nabisco, "The Biscuit Company." He is bow-legged and wears a neckerchief. | ||
| Scars and Marks: | Distinctive salt encrustations. | ||
CAUTION
MISTER SALTY IS WANTED IN CONNECTION WITH THE JANUARY 13, 2002, CHOKING OF THE UNITED STATES PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH DURING A TELEVISED FOOTBALL GAME. THIS ATTACK MADE THE PRESIDENT LOOK EXTREMELY SILLY. IN ADDITION, MISTER SALTY IS A SUSPECT IN OTHER TERRORIST ATTACKS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD.
CONSIDERED CRISP AND EXTREMELY TASTY
IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS ANTHROPOMORPHIC SNACK FOOD BRAND INDICATOR, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL FBI OFFICE OR THE NEAREST U.S. EMBASSY OR CONSULATE.
REWARD
The Rewards For Justice Program, United States Department of State, is offering a reward of up to $0.25 for information leading directly to the apprehension or conviction of Mister Salty. An additional $0.10 is being offered through a program developed and funded by the Snack Manufacturers Alliance of America.
June 1999
Poster Revised January 2002
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