Toad à la Mode
 |
Short Order Special! In our continuing attempts to bring you the freshest humor on the Internet, and also stay one jump ahead of the health inspector, we are pleased to announce the grand opening of our new location, the Toad a la Mode Blog. Regular updates being served there right now! Look for your past favorites in the Icebox. Bon appetit! |
Overheard in the Lobby
He's not one to gossip, but our maitre d' hears many things. Listen in to this week's whisperings:
- President Bush threatens to veto Pakistan's declaration of martial law.
- Tom Brady leads New England Patriots to victory over Indianapolis Colts; exiles Peyton Manning to island of Elba.
- Wheatfield shocked, appalled.
Check on yesterday's rumors in the Overheard Archive
Chef's Recommendations
Special offerings for the week.
So, Where Were We?
Appetizers
Begin your Toad a la Mode experience with some of these delightful hors d'oeuvres.
Lose wieght the politically correct way! Order your Obesity Buddy today!
Green Bay Blues: How Did the Bears Beat the Packers?
Did you hear a popping sound? Find out What's Up With Housing!
What's on departing Attorney General Alberto Gonzales's "To Do" list?
You'll be Browsing with the Stars with our list of Internet Explorer Favorites of Famous People
The Toad a la Mode Consumer Safety Board asks: Why are Chinese Goods so Dangerous?
Happy Bastille Day, Vive le Tour! Here are some handy phrases for the American tourist in France.
The new iPhone is here! It's a phone! It's an internet browser! It's a text messager! But what else can it do?
Barbeque, fireworks, and the Bush twins! This year's Fourth of July Protocols for the Kennebunkport staff.
A Bedtime Story, by Dick Cheney.
What Did We Let Dad Drone On and On and On About for Father's Day?
Summer is here! Be thankful yours won't be scarred by these Unmarketable Kool-Aid Flavors.
What's catching our eye in the bakery case this week? Everything But Pie.
Attention crafters! You'll want to avoid these Least Popular Knitting and Crochet Patterns
Tax time! Don't forget to declare the pennies on your eyes, and also consult our list of Lesser-Known Tax Forms
U.S. Attorney firings, contractor fraud, veterans' health care-- What will Congress Investigate Next?
Special end-of-winter pie chart: How Do We Know it's Time for Spring Cleaning?
What Wishes Are We Forcing Leprechauns to Grant Us?
Get ready to spring forward with our helpful Daylight Saving Time FAQ
Happy Shrove Tuesday! May we ask, Where Did You Get Your Mardi Gras Beads?
Gar ici! New Mardi Gras Traditions in Post-Katrina New Orleans
How will the Iraq "Surge" Work?
Bear Down, Bears! Power up for the big game with our Superbowl Haiku
Who needs drinking games? We have the Current Odds in the State of the Union Betting Pool
In Honor of MLK Day, we present the Toad a la Mode Civil Rights Trivia Quiz
A Health and Wellness Pie Chart: What are we running through our juicers?
Let the nagging begin! Weight Loss Tips for the New Year
Medical Trivia: Things Accidentally Left Inside Surgical Patients
As American as apple pie: Why Are We Burning Our Flags?
The Toad a la Mode Bureau of Coporate Failures presents Unsuccessful Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Flavors
Memo from Attorney General Gonzalez: Other Laws the President is Allowed to Break
You're invited to attend A Presidential Town Hall Meeting!
How did we break both our ankles? A very painful Toad a la Mode Pie Chart
What we won't see in the John Roberts Documents Release
Safety First! Make sure you follow this summer's Swimming Pool Rules
Were you voted Most Likely to Embarrass Himself at the Reunion? Not with our handy Class Reunion Ice Breakers!
There will be less of that pesky information around if they pass New Legislation from Rick Santorum
A Toad a la Mode HandiMap: Finding Your Way Around the Livestock Show Expo!
Why are we Getting Rid of Our Guardian Angels? A Toad a la Mode Theological Pie Chart
The Toad a la Mode Writers' Workshop Presents: Notes for an Unwritten Short Story in which Vice President Dick Cheney Meets a Fitting End
Entrees
Our chef's reputation is built upon these fine dishes. A wide selection, offering something for every taste.
Lesser-Known Miracles of St. Patrick
Skeptics rejoice! We offer these Phenomena that Cast Doubt on the Theory of "Intelligent" Design
A Bedtime Story, by Hunter S. Thompson
We thought you should know What Your Cat is Thinking When He Looks at You Like That
Some helpful advice: How Should You Explain Your Embarrassing Relatives?
Lest We Forget: A Memorial Day Primer of American Armed Conflict
The Toad a la Mode Liberal Media Conspiracy presents this convenient Tom DeLay Scandal Timeline
Pass the Remote! It's Time for Some Special Easter Television Programs
We've made a helpful list of Things to Remember for Next Valentine's Day
Happy Chinese New Year! Our Snack Food Chinese Zodiac reveals all!
Format Announced for First Presidential Debate
You Think Ricin is Bad? Consider these Revolting Baby Food Varieties
What Else do Viewers of FOX News Believe?
Desserts
A little something "for afterwards."
You may wish to avoid the Slowest-selling Slurpee Flavors
Crumbs of Yesteryear: Discontinued Girl Scout Cookie Varieties
Say, Why He Got to Be Like That?
Dessert Menus That Try Way Too Hard
From the Icebox
Many Toad a la Mode specialties taste even better cold. Enjoy some of your favorites from past weeks in the
Toad a la Mode offers the finest in domestic and imported low spirits.
Now is Not the Time for Blame: A Whine by Thomas Paine, American Patriot
A Very Special Whine from the Holy Spirit:
Well, Forgive Me for Taking a Vacation
A Customer Relations Whine by the Pillsbury Doughboy: Enough
with the poking, already!
The Government Ignored MY Terrorism Warnings, Too
Gift Shoppe
Commemorate your visit with some fine Toad a la Mode merchandise.
Gratuities
We hope you have enjoyed your Toad a la Mode experience. If you were pleased with the service, consider leaving something in the Tip Jar.
We also welcome your comments. Have a compliment for the chef? A complaint about the service? Like to hire-away our staff? Please send comments to the
Webfootmaster at Toad a la Mode
Digestifs
We sometimes use bad words, and other confessions.